[i never said i was brave]
stop being the strong one. i'm leaving. i'm hurt. i'm confused. i'm exhausted. if i could just sleep. if i could just melt. if i could just ignore you. if i could just stand up, walk out the door and not come back. it's as if i'm hiding in a closet... trying to escape. the closet is locked from the outside. i don't know it. i think i can come out and be found anytime i want, but no one can reach me and i'm not strong enough to stand up and try the door. sometimes i knock, but no one hears. sometimes i whisper things, but you never hear. you've never heard what i was trying to tell you. if you could've listened more. i told you i wasn't right for anyone. i told you my happiness is absurd. i told you that i would choose death over anything this world could offer. you should've listened.
you were a song that I couldn't sing
you were a story I couldn't tell
i've only ever loved myself
but i've loved myself so well.
and how defeated i return.
(you're nice and blue, you're nice and blue)
i missed what i was supposed to learn
as all i learned about was missing you.
[i was once alive when you held me]
right now... this very second... if i could be given the choice... to be dead or to stay alive like this... i would chose to die. right now. i'm beginning to understand what you meant. i'm so fucking selfish.
- posted by angela @ 10:11 AM