[their examples are: scooters, vacation, fall... who comes up with this shit?]
i'm talking about "labels for this post"
apparently you can stick a label on your post and anyone can search it and find your bullshit.
i never noticed it before.
scooters. vacation. fall.
scooters just remind me of some dude i dated.
he bought one.
i broke his heart.
next.
vacation.
do you know how many vacations i went on last year?
eight.
and most of them were when i didn't have a job.
know where i went?
to sleep mostly. wherever i ended up all i cared about was how comfortable the hotel bed was.
and i'm assuming that's what most people do on vacation.
next.
fall...
living in LA i didn't exactly experience fall.
the temperature was ninety degrees from march until i left in december.
i was willing to die for a pile of rotting leaves.
instead i moved to a pile of rotting people.
but seriously...
i said (10:45:15 PM): we're moving to philly to be different people, right? i mean... we're not going there to get away from these fucks as much as we're pretending... we just want to get away from ourselves, right?
they replied (10:46:46 PM): most likely
and i said (10:46:55 PM): good. i'm glad.
i am. i can admit this to myself.
i have a friend who understands.
and that's all that i need.
maybe one day we'll tell you all about it. you'll have to wait, though.
can you do it?
can anyone wait for what they want?
i mean, do you have any idea what it's like to sit... for years... every day... waiting?
sitting up in bed all night with your eyes open because you think you might miss it?
what i'm talking about is this..
we are all waiting for something to happen.
what i'm realizing is this...
it's not going to happen.
when you start to accept that, you get kind of cold and irritated all the time.
you get kind of lonely.
i feel like all i've been doing lately is waiting for all the simple people around me to get it.
but... i'm starting to envy them.
this really isn't about me, though.
it's about finding out what makes you move.
what you might die for.
what you might kill for.

the search is on.






and i seriously considered hiding this blog again when i noticed that it's not that i could be a better writer... it's that i couldn't be a worse writer.
all i'm going to do about it is apologize and hope one day what i really mean to say comes out.
honestly everything in here was important enough for me to type out...
but seriously....
someone said(11:07:39 PM): what is wrong with us?
- posted by angela @ 10:44 PM