[you probably think this song is about you]
i've written more in the past three weeks than in the past three years.
you don't read this...

it would be nice to go one night without you making me feel like an idiot..
but thanks for my fleeting moment of glory.
you don't (i'm saying you now... great)
he has no idea how rare it is for me to feel comfortable enough to open up like that...
just wanted him to know that i want him.
and rarer still that i...
fuck it.
he was being sweet,
but it was hot all day and i couldn't take it anymore.
for me to not want anyone else...
unheard of.
jesus christ, he is going to institutionalize me.
all that's left in this bed are lonely, disgusting creatures.
made a fool of just for thinking.
probably too much - yes
too fucking much.
too fucking bad.
and isn't he always the crude one?
vaguely remembering other comments...
short-lived.
obvious signs of how it would be.
but i enjoy it.
they were always crawling at my feet,
begging for words
it was only poison dripping from my lips.
my hips.
said the wrong thing. maybe it was "the one thing"
(pretending again that i want to find that one thing, but i don't.)
doesn't matter how perfect you are (act?)
there's always that one thing that will turn them right off...
funny... i was getting off.
(by the way, angie... you have completely abandoned your number one.)
sometimes i ask myself what i'm even doing here?
same name. wrong face. "same" name. wrong face.
hell, i couldn't tell the difference and i was actually trying to listen.
blurry conclusion...
the man downstairs with his too loud television isn't the only reason i'm up all night.
we're both fools.
she said, "you're fucked."
he shouldn't say nice things to me.
text message-ly speaking, yeah, you win the game every night...
not real words, though and i don't play games.
ask them.
they'll all tell you, "she don't fuck around."
however, memorize every word and analyze everything unspoken.
counting the "..."s
need a distraction.
"that's when i need you the most."
my revised response:
"i agree. i always have."
but i am not ashamed.
it felt damn good,
but it didn't last.
(conclusion?)
it wont last.
keep telling yourself that.
you don't believe it yet.
the only thing that defines a relationship to me is making sure the other person knows that you actually do mind if they fuck other people...
i wouldn't mind.
and still... i don't want anyone else.

utter defeat.
it's all over my face.
i have a human eraser.
i would beat you down with it
if you didn't make me too weak to lift it.

memory failure.
- posted by angela @ 1:58 PM