3.10.07
[she's gleaming like mother of pearl]
you know... it's only because you have too much contact with me...
i'm telling them all that i'm doing so well... clear headed and sober
as i pull whatever bottle closer to my lips.
this must be analyzed...
wake up...
travelers, redecorated
sunflowers
candy
patio
someone's parents...
i'm trying to remember the past month
cannot be sure that it has been a month.
structure; opposite.
orange shag carpet
armor.
confusion in bed when they come in to tell me:
there's someone out there who is looking for the paper...
yes. i forgot the name..
the paper.. i find covered with short notes of love and miss...
don't know the handwriting, but he walks in the door
don't know why he's wearing a jersey and cuts on his face...
"where was the fight?"
you do not seem happy...
then he's changing into a hoodie... maybe a coat..
it's colder than it was this summer...
i want to know where he's going...
or maybe just where i am...
but he tells me he's not going anywhere.
he lives here.
i don't know and i continue to investigate...
there are pictures on a camera...
messages from an unknown lover...
everything is blank.
no memory.
dress myself in a new skirt and... i found a kimono?
i'm walking towards him; thinking i've never seen anyone more gorgeous
i'm forcefully exiting humans from my bedroom,
but they keep coming back.
there is something wrong.
all that i want is to make him happy...
and just remember.
don't think you realize.
my only thoughts are:
what the fuck happened
and...
don't leave.
it was rough...
okay. i'm not coming back.
i'm not going anywhere.
could be happy there with you,
but i doubt it.
need to keep it the way it is.
too much contact:
you're the one who knows...
because you're the one i call...
when i can't see
and i'm acquiring bruises
that i wont recognize...
in the morning.
speak in tongues
speak in lies
drooling liver
born to die